Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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