I'm gonna have a badass scar
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So squirting runs in the family.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
