you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I skipped work to stalk him.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
