I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
