Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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