OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
