I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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