we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
