I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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