The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
