Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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