remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I am mentally ready for anal.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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