so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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