After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
