she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize