Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
