Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
