One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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