My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
