You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize