Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
