Taylor Swift is so right about you.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
