I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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