If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
