I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
