how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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