A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
