I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
