i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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