But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
