If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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