I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize