Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize
