Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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