lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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