I looked at my own cervix.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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