69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
