here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
