508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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