Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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