Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Randomize
