It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
