I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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