I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
