Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
