At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
