How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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