apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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