So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She bit a glass in half.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
