Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
