you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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