YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
