i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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