He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
