well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
