Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
