I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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