One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
