im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just cropdusted the office
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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