i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
