He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
